REPLIQUES: SAISON 2 - [saison 1]
2.01 - ACCEPTANCE (peine de vie)
Original Airdate on FOX: September 13, 2005
Written by Russel Friend & Garrett Lerner. Directed by Daniel Attias.
[Cut to House, walking toward Cuddy’s office. He sees Stacy talking with her, and pops a Vicodin. He walks in, and--]
James: You can’t go in there.
House: Who are you, and why are you wearing a tie?
James: I’m Dr. Cuddy’s new assistant. Can I tell her what it’s regarding?
House: Yes. I would like to know why she gets a secretary and I don’t.
James: I’m her assistant, not her secretary. I graduated from Rutgers.
House: Hmm. I didn’t know they had a secretarial school. Well, I hope you took some classes in sexual harassmentlaw. Does the word "ka-ching" mean anything to you? I’m going in now. [House enters.]
Cuddy: Dr. House, we are in the middle of a meeting.
House: What’s with hiring a male secretary? J-Date not working out?
Stacy: He is cute. Be careful.
House: She’s not like you. She can’t just walk into a bar and pick up her soul mate in twenty minutes.
Stacy: I met Mark at a fundraiser that happened to be held at a –
House: You met me at a strip club.
Stacy: You were the worst two dollars I ever spent. [to Cuddy] We’ll catch up later.
Cuddy: Stacy, it’s House. I know you can handle it.
Stacy: Nothing to handle. It’s obvious he wants to talk to you alone. [She leaves.]
[Cut to House, walking out of the hospital elevator with Clarence tied to a gurney, paramedics, and a lot of guards.]
House: You work fast.
Stacy: So do you.
House: Is that a shock?
Stacy: Yeah. It was easy once I convinced the clerk to take it to Judge Markem, he’s a sucker for Eight Amendmentarguments.
House: Stop, I’m getting turned on.
Cuddy: House!
House: [in his best Scooby-Doo imitation] Ruh-roh!
Cuddy: It was just a consult? Did you expect us to shut down an entire floor for this guy?
House: Did you do something to your hair?
Stacy: You said you cleared it with her –
House: Come on. You’ve known me how long and you still don’t know when I’m joshin’ ya?
Cuddy: Take him back to prison. Now.
House: Can’t. Ironically, I’m bound by this court order which your ace attorney got. I have to make him allbetter before shipping him back for the state to kill him. Is it just me, or is that weird? Anyway, we’re walking.
House: Our job is to diagnose him. [closing the blinds so he can’t see Stacy] What? Mommy and Daddy are having alittle fight, it doesn’t mean we’ve stopped loving you. Now, go outside and play. Get Daddy some smokes and anarterial blood gas test. [They all exit. As House leaves, he nearly runs into Stacy, who does not look amused.] Wow! Thatwas impressive. Okay, what number am I thinking of?
Stacy: Were you trying to get me fired? If you didn’t want me working here, why didn’t you just say so?
House: I just don’t want you working here, in my office. But anywhere else in the building is fine. It’s abig hospital.
Stacy: I’m a lawyer. You’re a jerk. There’s gonna to be some overlap.
House: God, I hope that was a euphemism.
Stacy: Cuddy just reamed me.
House: I hope that one means what I think it means.
Stacy: For trusting you! She figured when she hired me she’d at least have someone you couldn’t walk all over.
House: The number was six, by the way.
Stacy: I need to know, can I trust you?
House: If I hadn’t lied to you about Cuddy’s approval, my patient would be dead.
Stacy: Great. Now I know. Now we can work together.
[Cut to House entering the hospital, wearing sunglasses.]
Stacy: Morning! [House winces at the sound.] Your head hurt?
House: No, you just have a very grating voice.
Stacy: You always were a lightweight.
House: Why are you talking to me?
Stacy: Can’t it be enough that I want to cause you pain? The patient’s okay now, you’re going to sendhim back?
House: Absolutely. [He walks into the elevator. Oh elevator, I’ve missed you! The door of the elevator almost closes,but House stops it with his cane, and it opens again.] Can I trust you?
Stacy: You used to.
House: I still think the patient’s sick. I’m keeping him here. Now, either you can do your job and keep thehospital informed, or you can help me make sure the hospital is not informed and buy me some time. [The door closes.]
[Cut to House looking at Clarence’s prison records in his office. Stacy enters.]
Stacy: I didn’t have any choice.
House: No, you had to tell Cuddy. She’s your boss, I get it. Hitler thought he was doing the world a favor, too.
Stacy: Yeah, pretty much on that same level.
House: Gandhi didn’t march the sea because his buddies asked him too, Pol Pot didn’t wipe out the teachersbecause he wanted to make friends.
Stacy: You’re not making friends right now.
House: I trusted you.
Stacy: I know.
House: Wilson’s a fool. I’m an idiot.
Stacy: I had to do what I thought was right.
House: It’s the only reason anyone does anything.
2.03 - hUMPTY DUMPTY (culpabilité)
Original Airdate on FOX: September 27, 2005
Written by Matt Witten. Directed by Daniel Attias.
[House is sitting in a chair, his feet propped up on the exam table. He is twirling his cane and watching his mini-TV. There’s a knock.]
House: With a patient.
[Door opens. It’s Stacy.]
Stacy: Not according to the log.
House: It’s three-fifteen.
Stacy: Is it a commercial?
[House responds by picking up a soda and sipping it.]
Stacy: How’s Cuddy doing?
House: She’s not acting like Cuddy. It’s a pleasure.
Stacy: You know her. She has trouble with these situations, feels personally responsible.
House: Technical term is narcissism. You can’t believe everything is your fault unless you also believe you’re all powerful.
Stacy: [sarcastic] Wow, doesn’t she sound messed up.
House: I don’t believe I can fix everything. I don’t lie awake at night tormented by that fact.
Stacy: No, you lie awake tormented by—
House: We were talking about Cuddy here.
[House starts to get up.]
Stacy: She cares.
House: She enjoys feeling guilty.
Stacy: Lisa cares. It’s why she drives you nuts. ‘Cause it’s not just a puzzle to her. The patients are actually real, their feeling actually relevant. And I’m telling you, she can’t even talk to him.
House: My God, it’s contagious. You’re feeling guilty, too.
Stacy: I’m just saying take it easy on her. You owe her that.
[House pauses a second.]
House: Commercial’s over.
Stacy: So glad we talked.
[Stacy’s office.]
[House and Cuddy are standing in front of Stacy, who is seated at her desk.]
House: Why are we here?
Cuddy: We’re talking about cutting off a kid’s hand.
House: Yes, we’re talking about cutting it off, not subdividing it and putting in condos. It’s not a legal issue.
Cuddy: Are you being intentionally dense?
House: Huh?
Cuddy: I think it’s premature.
Stacy: I’ve heard enough.
House: What? She says one word and you take her side. You should wait until she at least gives a medical reason. Otherwise I might take it personally.
Stacy: Shut up. If I were to somehow find out that you two are in disagreement over the proper medical course of action, it could make it awkward for my client in court. My client being the two of you. So guys, I’m a little busy here. Why don’t we pick this conversation up in half an hour. K?
[Stacy’s office.]
House: I’m happy to report that we’re now so in synch we’re actually wearing each other’s underwear. Chop, chop time.
Stacy: Is this true?
House: No, I’m lying. Stupid to do with her in the room, I guess.
Stacy: This is a big decision.
House: We made it.
Stacy: We should convene in a meeting of the ethics committee.
House: NO! [throws hands up]. Look. She is making a medical decision based on never wanting to feel regret. You’re making a legal decision on wanting me to be wrong.
Stacy: Greg, you have a history of –
House: You wanted superficial agreement. You wanted everybody’s asses covered. You got it. Now can I do the surgery? Pretty, pretty please?
[Stacy looks at Cuddy.]
Stacy: Lisa? Are you sure you’re okay with this?
[Cuddy takes a second to reply.]
Cuddy: I should be the one to tell the family.
2.06 - SPIN (LA COURSE AU MENSONGE)
Original Airdate on FOX: November 15, 2005
Written by Sarah Hess. Directed by Fred Gerber.
[House yawns and uses his cane to tip over a CD which continues tipping over other various items across his desk until his bottle of vicodin drops into his hand - VERY cool]
House: Yeah!
[Stacy barges in wearing a '70's headband]
Stacy: We need to talk.
House: Oh god. Are you pregnant? Cuz I really wanna finish high school
Stacy: You have to renew your credential!
House: They're good for two more months
Stacy: Three weeks. The paperwork takes forever. Your application, your malpractice insurance, criminal records check - you know thats going to take some explaining
House: You know, our relationship was way better when we were sleeping together. Why'd we stop doing that? Did you get married?
Stacy: Yeah! Otherwise I'd be on you like red on rice
House: Rice doesn't rhy-- oh I get it!
Stacy: You're also behind on your dictations
House: I don't do dictations. Cameron does them, or somebody.
Stacy: You can't have your sole female employee doing your clerical work which you'd know if you'd attended the required sexual harassment seminars. Then I'm going to pause so you can make a crack about harassment.
[Cuddy walks in]
House: Joke killer
Cuddy: House, got a patient
House: [sighs] Sorry, can't play anymore, my mom's calling me [walks out of his office]
House: I'm just trying to function. He's trying to win himself some little yellow jerseys. [The cafeteria door opens to admit Stacy wheeling Mark in on a wheelchair] Oh oh
Wilson: What?
House: [rubs his forehead] Trouble in paradise, 2 o' clock
Wilson: Your 2 o' clock or my 2 o' clock?
House: [points] there.
[Wilson turns his head around to look]
Wilson: She looks perfectly happy. Obviously they huddled in the hall and worked up this circus act on the off-chance you'd be in here
House: She was unbelievable pissy 3 hours ago
Wilson: Hmm! Pissy with you, happy with her husband. Yes there could only be one possible explanation
House: When she's angry, she gets sarcastic. When she's annoyed, she's funny, but when she's frustrated, she gets pissy
Wilson: Yes, yes, I'm with you so far
House: She's miserable with Mark because he's not me. So she's gotta make me not me, so she makes my professional life miserable, if I can't do my job--
Wilson: You really, really, need to get some--
House: Oh I get some "some" all the time, I always need to borrow "some" money
[Stacy wheels Mark pass the boys]
Stacy: Hi James, Greg. Gotten to that paperwork?
House: I've been pissy
Stacy: Pardon me?
House: I've been busy. [Picks up Mark's fork and deliberately eats some of Mark's food off his plate] When you save someone's life, they owe you forever
Mark: You're right. Take Stacy. Oh wait, she'd probably just leave you all over again
[Stacy and Wilson share a look]
House: How's your recovery going? Gotten around to the small muscles yet?
Mark: It's not the size of the muscle, its where you get to put it
Stacy: My goodness, it's like watching Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward in the third grade. Excuse us [wheels Mark away to another table, but not before House and Mark give each other fake smiles]
[Cut to House walking into an exam room in the clinic. Patient sits there patiently chewing his gum]
Patient: I think I should start smoking again
House: You want a medical opinion supporting that decision?
Patient: The symptoms started as soon as I quit
House: Symptoms meaning [flips open the chart] diarrhoea. A lot of diarrhoea
Patient: Ten or twelve times a day, it's really embarassing. I'm a flight attendant, and...
[Stacy barges in and hits House across his arm ]
House: Well if you're upset my hiccups are gone
Stacy: You went to his group
House: Well you were the one who was all Greg, you need to confront your feelings--
Stacy: [hits House across the arm again] that was 5 years ago
House: I've been pissy
Stacy: Fine, you don't want help, does that mean nobody should get it?
House: Mark's looking for help because... what? he's resentful? Overwhelmed? I'm asking because I care
Stacy: Not about him, you still want to jump me so you don't care who's married--
House: Look, I could get my rocks off anytime I want. What I don't seem to be able to do is my job without you hanging over my shoulder
[Stacy gives a frustrated sigh and walks out]
House: How many packs? [turns back to the patient]
Patient: A bit over one a day but they were lights and I quit. [pause] You used to go out with her?
House: Yeah. What was I thinking? I'm talking about the gum you're chewing, you ever play smoking as an oral fixation. How many packs?
Patient: Six, maybe seven
[Stacy barges back in]
Stacy: I'm trying to protect you. Cuddy and I may be the only people stopping you from jumping off a cliff just to prove that you--
House: You're pissy
Stacy: Oh I am angry!
House: Pissy. You only get pissy when you're frustrated
Stacy: Shut up!
House: Ok, I'm wrong
Stacy: This is unbelievably difficult for Mark, which you should know, which you should be able to summon up some level of empathy for
House: Right. The cripple boys. We should start a band
Stacy: I have a good thing with Mark, we are handling this the best way we know how
House: And none of this has anything to do with me?
Stacy: No, nothing! Except that you can't, or won't just let it go! Let it go. [walks back out slamming the door]
...
[Stacy and Cuddy walk in]
Cuddy: You've got a leak. The Press is all over the Jeff Hastert story
Stacy: On the off-chance that one of you were stupid enough to call from your own office, I'm pulling your phone records, including your cell phones
Foreman: I assume if I point out the fact that you have no right to do that, you'll interpret that as a sign of guilt?
House: Wilson's chatty. Plus he's got two ex-wives to support. You want me to tell him he's fired?
Stacy: Until we figure out who's behind this, I'm sitting in with you guys. You have the ethics of a four-year-old, I'm going to treat you like one
House: How am I supposed to practice medicine with a lawyer sitting on my shoulder?
Cuddy: Responsibly
House: You know I can't do that!
Wilson: Cameron
Cameron: I'm not the leak
Stacy: Somebody once told me that everybody lies. Since you're the only people who know he has cancer--
House: He doesn't have cancer
Cuddy: The point is, you're his medical team. He's threatening to sue
House: Why would Cameron leak cancer? How does cancer make the guy look bad? [lengthy pause] He's on EPO [rushes out]
[Cut to House entering Stacy's office]
Stacy: You've come to search my office, you should wait ten minutes I'll be out of your hair. Here, start with my purse [throws it across to House] just save me some mints. What do you want to know? My sex life with Mark? My guilt over crippling your damn leg? Or are you just here to gloat because you weren't the leak?
House: I want to apologise [he solemnly sits down] Maybe I've been punishing you for a little too long. And maybe you've been punishing me. If we're going to work together, I need to know - do you hate me? Or do you love me? Either way, I think we've got a problem
Stacy: I hate you. And I love you. And I love Mark
House: You don't hate him?
Stacy: No
House: So what do we do?
Stacy: We deal with each other
House: Right. That plan's been working great so far
Stacy: It'll get better, it'll get easier
House: Why?
Stacy: I don't know, it's what my therapist tells me
[House walks out of the room giving a briefly smug little smile once he's closed the door]
2.07 - HUNTING (PARTIE DE CHASSE)
Original Airdate on FOX: November 22, 2005
Written by Liz Friedman. Directed by Gloria Muzio.
[Cut to Stacy's kitchen]
Stacy: You have to treat him
House: Medically this case is a snooze-fest. AIDS plus infection
Stacy: You don't treat him he charges you with assault
House: Just 'cause he says I hit him doesn't make it true. Watch, [looks up at the ceiling] I am surrounded by naked cheerleaders [nothing happens] See? [Stacy hands him a mug of coffee] Although I like my chances of some action this morning
Stacy: I forgot Wednesday was hooker day. This could've waited!
House: You make me meet you at your house, your husband is conveniently absent
Stacy: Mark's at physio, I'm stuck waiting for the exterminator [House gives a questioning look] I saw a rat last night
House: Well, I'm surprised your feet are touching the floor
Stacy: I barely slept
House: [takes off his jacket] What was Mark up to? Memory serves, quick climb up Mt. Gregory and you dozed through a seal hunt. Clubbing, shrieking. [walks to the sink and starts washing the dishes]
Stacy: What're you doing?
House: Sorry, it's driving me nuts
Stacy: You hate washing dishes
House: People change. I could make sure you sleep like a baby tonight
Stacy: Rather take care of that myself [walks up to the sink to help House]
House: I was referring to the rat
Stacy: Trenton Pests is sending a guy
[Suddenly in the middle of the domestic bliss--]
Mark: What's going on?
[House drops everything and turns around looking rather guilty]
House: It's not what you think. I know it looks like we're cleaning dishes but actually, we're having sex
Stacy: We're working
Mark: Wow, wish I'd become a doctor. Place would be spotless [smirks and wheelchairs himself away]
Stacy: Take ten minutes, cure the guy, and stop whining [walks after Mark]
[Cut to Stacy's attic]
Stacy: It ran into that heating vent right there
House: Hopefully Mark's anger will go away eventually
Stacy: He's not angry, just doesn't like you. Nothing unique there
House: Didn't seem really wild about you either
Stacy: He's fine with me
House: He's angry. Said so in group
Stacy: Of course he's angry, he's looking at months of painful physio
House: [smells a ball of cheese he brought wrapped in foil] He's mad at you
Stacy: There's no way he said that
House: [sighs] No, but it's true. He resents you for being able to walk. Been there. I resented you for hell of a long time
Stacy: Past tense?
[House's cell phone starts to ring. He doesn't pick it up. House and Stacy keep staring at each other]
Stacy: Might be the hospital [she walks out]
[Cut to Stacy's attic]
Stacy: [rushes in to find House sitting in the middle of her attic] You broke into my house?
House: Why I had to, Mark isn't here
Stacy: He has physio
House: Oh really? How's he doing?
Stacy: What happened with all the cheese?
House: I had to get rid of it before Steve McQueen ate any coumadin. I named your rat [Stacy gives a look of disbelief]. Steve's tilting his head. Any neurologist will tell you that suggests an infection or brain stem tumour
Stacy: Death cures both those things
House: Well we can't kill him. If it's an infection, it could be caused by something in your house, something that could affect you guys [he scrapes something off the floor and goes to sit beside Stacy]. Smell this [Stacy sniffs it] does it smell like urine?
Stacy: Oh! [she turns away in disgust]
House: [sniffs it] You missing any asparagus? Ok, stuff these [hands her a bottle of antibiotics], he doesn't get better, then it’s a tumour
Stacy: Then what? Chemo?
House: Steve McQueen without hair? [shakes his head] It's a blessing he died young [they both smile]
[Stacy's cell phone rings]
Stacy: Hello. Oh, hi honey. I'm sorry I missed you, yeah, I came home. Alright, I'll see you in a few minutes, okay, bye hun
[House quickly walks out of the attic and is gone by the time Stacy looks for him. He walks past the toilet and lifts the toilet seat up with his cane]
[Cut to Stacy's attic at night. House and Stacy are lying next to each other looking very comfortable, waiting for Steve McQueen to walk into the mousetrap]
Stacy: So how long do we stay here?
House: 'Til something happens
Stacy: He's not going to come out with us right here
House: We are downwind, and he seems to have hearing loss
Stacy: He's not blind
House: Steve McQueen does not run from danger. Antibiotics on the other hand... [he picks one up from the floor]
Stacy: He ate around the pill? Smart!
House: Admit it, you like him
Stacy: He's alright... for a rat
House: You wanna now how cool he is? His urine showed traces of hydrogen cyanide, formaldehyde, lead. He's a smoker. Your husband's been lighting up... which is particularly stupid, it could cause his AIP to---
Stacy: Okay, I blow my smoke into the vents so Mark doesn't know
House: I always knew it
Stacy: Bluffing!
House: You started two weeks after my surgery. Menthols, then lights after a month
Stacy: Why didn't you say anything?
House: 'Cause it helped me monitor your misery level. One trip outside was a good day, upwards of six you were in hell
Stacy: You could have asked me how I was!
House: I already knew. Sorry you were miserable
Stacy: Sorry I caused you so much pain
[long silent pause as they stare at each, when suddenly there's a clang. Camera pans in to see Steve trapped in a metal cage]
[Cut to House peeking into Stacy's office]
Stacy: Heard you hit another patient
House: Yeah, sure. Why not? He hit me first
Stacy: Cuddy didn't mention that. Let me see [she comes around the desk to look at his jaw]
House: I'm the doctor
Stacy: My concern is purely legal [pats the skin where he got punched] Looks okay, does it hurt?
House: A little
Stacy: You need some ice [she goes to fetch some from the little fridge in the corner]
House: There's no way that Mark doesn't know [Stacy turns around] about the smoking
Stacy: He would have said something [she applies some ice wrapped in a cloth to the purpling area where he got punched]
House: Then he hasn't been near you in months
Stacy: We're fine
House: Can't be easy
Stacy: Stop squirming
House: Why would you lie about this?
Stacy: I'm not lying
House: I don't care if you're sleeping with him or not, but you're not, so...
Stacy: I am [stops trying to put the ice on the bruise]
House: You're lying
Stacy: You know when I have sex? You can smell that on me too? The only people who know about what's going on between me and Mark, are me and Mark.
House: I just know you
Stacy: And I know you. You're confident, arrogant, but you're never certain unless there's a reason to be certain. One other person knew, I told you I was seeing Dr Harper. You can easily get into her office, you read my file. [House doesn't deny it] You read my file? [she now sounds like she's about to break into tears] The dishes, the concern, the oh - acting like a human being? You have... This whole time you've been manipulating me?
House: You knew I had an angle the moment I poured soap on to a scrub brush. [Stacy walks back behind her desk] You could have thrown me out, or ignored me, or found another exterminator. You didn't even tell Mark that I kept coming by. You LET this happen because you wanna be with me
Stacy: [nods] I don't know anymore. Get out.
2.08 - THE MISTAKE (erreur médicale)
Original Airdate on FOX: November 29, 2005
Written by Peter Blale. Directed by David Semel.
[Cut to House and Wilson in House's office playing a game involving tossing a coin over a chain-link of paperclips and into the other's cupped hands - looks fun!]
House: She's over-reacting.
Wilson: You snuck into her shrink's office and read her private file. When Nixon did that, he got impeached.
House: So you're saying I'm not allowed to have oral sex with an intern either?
Wilson: [scores a coin in House's hands] Yes! And yes.
House: The file got me on the floor of her attic with her pouring out her soul. The only thing I did wrong was get caught. [he tosses the coin and it almost hits Wilson's face]
Stacy: [walking into the office] Where's Chase?
House: He's too busy to service you until after work. I got a couple of minutes though. Feel free to say something like "what'll we do with the time left over?" Or you could just stew. That works as well. [to Wilson] She stews before she gets violent.
Stacy: [throws the pieces of paper on to the table in front of House] This one says you're okay with moving the disciplinary hearing to tomorrow. This one says I've advised you of your legal rights.
House: Uh huh, any legal rights I should know about?
Stacy: Nope. [angrily tosses her pen on to the table, Wilson winces]
House: Great. [to Wilson] And you thought this was going to be awkward. [he signs the papers]
[Scene cuts to the clinic, patient is coughing]
[House is checking the man out with his stethoscope]
Patient: Two months like this.
House: Let me guess, no insurance. Just heard about the free clinic. It's a good move. You don't want to skimp on the essentials like wristwatches, MP3 players..
[Door suddenly opens, Stacy stands at the door]
Stacy: I need to talk to you.
House: From the doorway?
Stacy: It's confidential.
House: Cool. I love gossip. [he puts the ear pieces of his stethoscope into the patient's ears and lets the patient hear his own lung] Hear that crackling sound like crumpling up paper? Keep listening. Let me know if it changes.
[He sits down on his stool and looks perfectly content to stay there. Stacy walks in and shuts the door]
Stacy: Two questions. Why did Chase screw up and how bad was it?
House: Wow. Talk about efficient. I only need one answer - Chase didn't screw up.
Stacy: He said he did.
House: Well I'm not a lawyer, but that seems like a sucky legal strategy.
Stacy: Look I don't wanna know what you think a reasonable doctor would have done in Chase's position.
House: If I thought he was a 'reasonable' doctor, I wouldn't have hired him.
Stacy: God you two are a couple of geniuses. Deny everything, completely fool the lawyer who's trying to help you. Too bad the review committee members are actually doctors.
[She starts to walk out the door]
House: Stacy.
[She walks back, House sighs]
[Scene cuts back to House and Stacy in the clinic]
House: Unless you convince Chase to row on me.
Patient: Excuse me, testify about what?
House: Uhh... [checks the patient's file] Chuck. I'm going to break from the parable of the wicked doctor and tell a little story about a patient. Let's call him... Buck, who has low O2 stats and crackling lung sounds.
Chuck: Like I have?
House: Buck has idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. His lung tissue's turning to rock. There's no known cause, no treatment. He is slowly suffocating.
Chuck: You're talking about me?
House: Lung transplant's about a half a million dollars, but this poor sucker's got no insurance. If he tried to sign up now, he'd be excluded, pre-existing condition. But let me confirm with my lawyer [he turns to Stacy who doesn't respond]. She confirms. If only Buck hadn't been diagnosed with fibrosis before he got insurance. So... back to the exam.
[Chuck looks scared and shocked and wordlessly leaves the clinic]
Stacy: That's how you tell this guy he's dying?
House: Oh relax. He's got a cold, and soon, health insurance.
Stacy: Such a hero. Always righting wrongs. Who cares who you have to manipulate.
House: I'm sorry. I didn't realise you and Buck were so close. [walks out of the exam room]
Stacy: It's a point of principle.
House: Right. It's got nothing to do with what I did to you.
Stacy: There's nothing for us to talk about.
House: [takes some lollies from the clinic counter and puts them in his pocket] That's why you're following me. I read some notes--
Stacy: If Chase screwed up--
House: I was wrong. Terribly, terribly sorry.
Stacy: If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn't you fire him?
House: He has great hair.
Stacy: [grabbing on to House's arm to stop him from walking away] What are you hiding?
House: I'm gay. Oh, that's not what you meant. It does explain a lot though. No girlfriend, always with Wilson, obsession with sneakers...
[Stacy gives up and walks away]
[Scene cuts to Stacy facing House in the clinic exam room again]
Stacy: And this was right before you ran the marathon, I suppose?
House: Was it the part where he warmly clasped my hands in thanks, was that too much?
Stacy: What'd you do to him?
House: The hospital lawyer asks me if I did something unethical. If I did, the last person I tell is the hospital lawyer, especially since she's gone all 'old testament' on me.
Stacy: You'll tell me.
House: Oh. Ok then. One caveat, I've moved past threesomes. I'm now into foursomes. If someone backs out then you've still got a threesome [Stacy's glaring at House at this point]. If two people back out, you're still having sex. You'd be amazed. Even if three people--
Stacy: Anything you say is attorney-client. So you can get advice about the bad bad thing you did, knowing I'll be tortured because I can't tell a soul.
House: [winks] Actually, it is kinda cool.
[House and Stacy are now transported into a replay of the flashback. They're standing in Ayersman's office even as Ayersman and House are talking about doing the transplant]
Ayersman: Are you completely out of your mind? She's dying on her own, why would I volunteer to be her executioner? [House hands him an envelope] I'd just be inviting a lawsuit from the brother, no matter what! [He opens the envelope, there's money inside]
House: 5 grand. And that's just ante money. After the surgery, you get another 15. Though I warn you, that includes the tip.
Ayersman: [laughs scornfully] I make 600 grand a year, you think I'm going to risk tanking my percentages for 20 thousand? [he throws the envelope down on the table]
House: [shrugs] It's tax free.
Ayersman: For the record, I hope the department takes you and Chase and drop-kicks both your asses out the back door.
House: [nods] Great. [pockets the envelope] Means I don't have to bother welshing on the 15 grand I would have owed you. If you don't do the surgery, [he starts to walk away] I'm going to tell your wife that you've been sleeping with a series of nurses. Currently Nurse Cuttler in Radiology. Now what's 600 grand divided by two?
[House looks thoughtful, Ayersman looks shocked]
House: Last Christmas party, Nurse Cuttler handed you one of those little hotdogs. And you didn't thank her. Well that only happens when you're very very intimate. That and the fact that you've been practically dancing around with your zipper open, used condom stuck in your shoe. [he walks over to pick up a sweet in a bowl nonchalantly] Your wife is apparently the only one who doesn't know.
Ayersman: There is no way you'll tell her.
House: Of course I won't. I'm much too cowardly. [Ayersman looks defeated] No, I'd just send an anonymous letter. Now I've uh... I've got an OR booked for 4 this afternoon. Are you free? [eats the sweet]
[Ayersman closes his eyes and grimaces but nods]
House: Hmm. Oh, and for the record, you are the worst transplant surgeon in this hospital. But unfortunately, you're the only one who's currently cheating on his wife. [he walks out, passing by the figures of himself and Stacy watching the scene]
[Scene cuts back to Stacy and House in the exam room]
Stacy: You bribed him and then you blackmailed him?!
House: She'd have been dead in 2 days if I hadn't made Ayersman do the surgery.
Stacy: Leave the blackmail out of the story you tell the committee.
House: Tried to leave it out of the story I told you.
Stacy: And then there was that incident in the parking lot.
[Scene cuts to a blond woman in a tight dress keying Ayersman's brand new red convertible]
Ayersman: Hey now! Don't do that! Hey what are you nuts?! Please, please! I didn't do it! I didn't do anything!
[Scene cuts back to exam room]
House: Apparently, someone sent an anonymous letter to his wife.
Stacy: You blackmailed Ayersman before he performed the surgery and then you ratted him out anyway?!
House: Doesn't seem fair, does it?
Stacy: You just can't control yourself, can you? No matter how stupid, how self-destructive--
House: To make this conversation easier, can we discard the fiction that we're talking about anything other than what I did to you? You're not mad because I broke into your psychiatrist's office.
Stacy: Yeah, I was thrilled about that.
House: Okay, it was a lousy thing to do, but if what I'd found was that everything was all kittens and moonbeams in Markville, you'd be over it.
Stacy: No I wouldn't!
House: You're mad at me for letting you know what I did because you liked where things were going. And for that I actually am sorry. It was stupid. [Stacy turns and leaves, House throws his head back and looks fairly heartbroken and dejected]
[Scene cuts to House in a very nice grey suit and tie twirling his cane waiting in front of the room where Chase is going through his meeting with the disciplinary board]
[Stacy walks up and sits down next to House]
Stacy: Is Chase telling the committee about his dad?
House: I don't know. I thought you were going to get him to sell me out.
Stacy: I wouldn't do that.
House: Why not?
Stacy: You're my client too.
House: Yeah. And that's not going to change unless you leave this job. Or I do. So how do you deal with a coworker that you have feelings for - positive or negative. I don't want to end up like Chase, I don't want to get emotionally caught up and kill... you.
Stacy: It's not all negative.
[House looks up at her hopefully]
Stacy: Maybe you were right... maybe that is the problem.
House: So what do we do?
Stacy: [shakes her head] I don't know.
2.10 - FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE (problèmes de communication)
Original Airdate on FOX: January 10, 2006
Written by Doris Egan. Directed by Jace Alexander.
[Scene cuts to House and Stacy sitting together in an office, waiting for the Medicaid staff]
Stacy: Don't say anything; don't attempt to defend your billing practices, your billing practices are indefensible.
House: We've been over this.
Stacy: If I thought you were capable of listening, I'd shut up.
House: That makes no sense at all.
[Medicaid Guy comes in]
Medicaid Guy: Good afternoon.
Stacy: [stands up to shake his hand] Good afternoon.
[House just sits there fiddling with his cane]
Medicaid Guy: Every case you have rates a 5 on the complexity scale.
Stacy: Doctor House has a rather specialised practice.
Medicaid Guy: Ah. Okay. Then let's go through these. [starts shuffling through the mountain of folders on the desk]
House: All of these?
Medicaid Guy: If you have lunch reservations, cancel them. All right... patient.
...
Medicaid guy: Patient, 62-yrs-old. You prescribed Viagra. I look in vain for the words 'erectile dysfunction' in the notes for Delores Smith?
House: She had a heart condition.
Medicaid guy: And you ran out of nitroglycerin?
House: She also had low blood pressure, so nitro would be dangerous. Little blue pills improve blood flow, they’re vasodilators. That's why you sometimes get the headaches.
Stacy: I think Doctor House understands--
House: Well of course I do. The woman has a heart condition and she’s on her own. A man can't nail his office assistant, its national crisis time.
Medicaid guy: Are you seriously expecting us to foot the bill for off-label use of medication?
House: Fine, I'll pay for it. [reaches for his wallet] How much are the pills? She took how many?
Stacy: [hits House] Put the money away!
Medicaid guy: Are you trying to bribe me?
House: No! I could. There's an ATM in the lobby.
Stacy: My client's an idiot. [House turns to look at her in surprise] But is he wrong about the pills?
Medicaid guy: Off-label use is not sanctioned--
Stacy: You're retiring in three weeks. You've been doing this job nearly twenty years, aren't you tired of administering policy you disagree with?
Medicaid guy: I never said I disagreed with--
Stacy: What can they do to you? And Doctor House is sorry [pointed look to House] about his earlier outburst.
House: Absolutely! [pathetically insincere ;) ]
[Cut to House and Stacy walking out to the lobby]
House: You do background checks on Medicaid personnel?
Stacy: I do what's necessary for my client. [checks her watch] Wow! New personal record!
House: Yeah, time's good for me too. Got a reservation at a little place near the harbour.
Stacy: You booked us dinner reservations?
House: Best Maryland crab in... Maryland.
Stacy: Don't you have a plane to catch?
House: Not for hours.
Stacy: Your flight leaves at 7.
House: You did a background check on me?
Stacy: And mine doesn't leave until 9pm. It looks like you’ll be dining alone.
House: You checked on my flight, so you could be sure to be on a different one. Thought we were past the avoidance stage.
Stacy: I didn't think we'd be finished this soon.
House: Where's your crucifix?
Stacy: I left it at the jeweller's to be cleaned.
[she walks away]
House: Riiight.
[Cut to House buying coffee in the airport. It's snowing very heavily outside and all the planes are grounded and being delayed]
[He sees Stacy walking in and they sit together on the airport chairs. He opens up the brown paper bag he's carrying and takes out a cup of coffee for Stacy]
House: Got you some coffee. [he takes out another cup for himself and throws the bag away. He proceeds to fidget and tap his fingers on the coffee cup] So... what do you want to talk about?
[Cut to House and Stacy at the airport]
House: When people give themselves away, it's by little things. That woman over there, she's not sneering at her coffee, she’s recovering from Bell's palsy. And the cashier at the coffee place, she doesn't want anybody to know she's dying of ALS. There's a particular sort of twitchy stiff arm that’s characteristic. [pause] And then there's you. Why aren't you wearing your cross?
Stacy: [exasperated] Oh, I told you I left it--
House: You keep jewellery cleaner under the sink so you won’t have to go a day without it. True, you forgot it that morning that our pipes burst, but then you went back and waded through the flood to retrieve it. Soo... why no wading today?
Stacy: Didn't you bring a book to read or something?
[House looks innocently away and drinks his coffee]
[Cut back to House and Stacy in the airport]
House: [is reading a book entitled "LESBIAN PRISON STORIES" ;)] Either you left it behind on purpose, or by mistake. The only reason you'd leave it behind intentionally, is if it no longer meant anything to you. [Stacy gives him a long-suffering look] But since it was a gift from your mom, that would mean you had a fight with her. But since you don't talk to ghosts, that’s unlikely.
Stacy: Leave it alone, Greg.
House: Yeah, I'm good at that. So that leaves forgetting it unintentionally, but then we'd have to explain why you didn’t go back for it when you realised.
Stacy: I didn't realise until I got to the airport.
House: Nope, you were in make-up when you got to the airport. Can't put on make-up without looking at yourself and you can’t look at yourself without touching that thing.
Stacy: Why does this matter to you?
House: It's an anomaly. Anomalies bug me.
Stacy: Then you're going to suffer. [she goes back to reading her newspaper]
[Back to the airport]
House: I suppose it's also possible that the clasp broke, but then you'd be carrying the thing around in your purse.
Stacy: We had a fight. [she turns around and snaps at him] We had a fight and I was angry and not thinking straight, and I walked out without my make-up and without my cross! I stopped at the drug store to buy make-up, but I couldn't buy a cross because they don't have an aisle for personal talismans!!!
House: [immediately contrite] So you had a fight, I'm sure it’ll blow over.
Stacy: It was about nothing.
House: Of course it was. Mark's tired, he's worried, he's got mobility problems. It's normal that he'd blow up over little things.
Stacy:I don't mind fighting over little things! I don't even mind fighting over big things! That I could understand. But we fight over nothing! You know a mailbox with a sign that says "last pick-up 5pm", does that mean last pick-up to go to the post office, or last pick-up to leave the post office and be sent out of town?
House: You fought over mail delivery? [winces]
Stacy: I tried to get him to drop the subject, but he wouldn't. I told him he was right, he thought I was being condescending!
House: You were.
Stacy: He's pushing me out of his life.
House: Maybe you're misinterpreting.
Stacy: Did I misinterpret with you? At least this time I recognise it. That's the bitter bit of convincing the two men you ever loved they're better off without you.
House: [rolls his eyes] Yeah, it's all your fault. You know Stacy in the original Greek means relationship killer.
Stacy: [laughs softly] I'm going to go wash my face so I look like a grown-up again.
[House nods and she turns to walk away when her mobile rings]
Stacy: Hello? [she hands the phone to House] It's for you.
House: House.
[Cut to the airport]
Announcement: Attention please, due to weather conditions, our flights are grounded until further notice. Cots are being provided on the lower level. We apologise for the inconvenience.
House: Want me to run down and reserve you a cot with view?
Stacy: Where's your knapsack?
House: Checked it through.
Stacy: Oh, that's right. I forgot it was hard for you to carry and walk. I booked a room at the airport hotel when I saw about the weather; it was the last one available. Your leg can’t handle a night on a cot.
House: Thanks. [he looks shocked and stunned into quietness]
Stacy: I'm ready.
House: Right.
Stacy: The hotel's upstairs.
House: Does Mark know about this?
Stacy: Mark knows when things are bad I always like to have an escape route planned.
[Cut to them entering the hotel room. It's very spacious and it has a double bed]
House: [closes the door] I have to know what's going on here. Cause when you have a fight with Mark, and you try to avoid me, I have to think that--
Stacy: That I'm feeling vulnerable and I don't want to be around you because it might lead to something.
House: Right. But then a hotel room...
Stacy: Might also lead to something.
House: Hmm. So... which is it?
Stacy: Our relationship is like an addiction. It's... like...
House: Really good drugs?
Stacy: No, it's like... vindaloo curry.
House: Ok, sure...
Stacy: Really really hot Indian curry they make with red chilli peppers.
House: I know what it is! Didn't think it was addictive.
Stacy: You're abrasive and annoying and come on way too strong, like... vindaloo curry. When you're crazy about curry, that's fine but no matter how much you love curry, you have too much of it, it takes the roof of your mouth off. And then you never want to see curry for a really really long time but you wake up one day and you think... god I really miss curry.
[By this point she's walked up to House and they're standing less than a half a metre apart]
House: [puts his hand under her chin and raises her face up so he can see]
Stacy: You're a jerk.
House: I know [he smiles and dumps his cane on the bed as he moves in closer to put his hands on her waist and then leans in kiss her on the lips. After 3 kisses, he moves back] If you hadn’t just had a fight with Mark...
Stacy: [grabs his face in her hands] For once in your life will you shut up? [she pulls him down and they lock lips again. He holds her close to him and she strokes his jaw as they go for it.]
[The mobile phone rings]
[Stacy makes an exclamation of exasperation, and she pulls House’s head down for one final kiss before she lets him go and he picks up the phone]
House: House.
[Cut to the kids in House's office]
Foreman: You're on speakerphone.
House: How did the LP go? Give me the reader's digest condensed version.
[While House is on the phone, Stacy reaches under House's coat and caresses him]
Chase: Preliminary results are some kind of infection, which... narrows it down...
[House and Stacy exchange another kiss]
House: From infinity, yeah.
Chase: At the rate his organs are deteriorating, he's got maybe a day or two.
House: Ok! Well, call me back when you have something. [he takes the phone away from his ear, probably about to put it down even as Stacy leans in for another kiss, when Cameron’s voice cuts through]
Cameron: He was trying to tell us something!
House: [hesitates, then reluctantly puts the phone back against his ear] What did he say?
Cameron: [looking very dishevelled] You were wrong, it wasn’t the fear. He opened up to me when I...
House: Sympathetic presence after a traumatic moment. [He steps away from Stacy reluctantly] Classic interrogation technique. What did he say?
Cameron: You knew that I'd--
House: Act the way you always do? Yeah, I did. What did he say?
[Stacy sits back on to the bed as she waits for House to finish the call]
Cameron: He couldn't tackle the bear.
Foreman: Now all we need is the English aphasic dictionary.
House: A fluent aphasic retrieves words that are stored somewhere close to the one he wants. They can be filed by sounds or by meaning. So if he wants to say table, he could say... label, or he could say chair. Or he could just say Jabberwocky, there's no way to tell.
[Stacy starts twirling House's cane in the approved twirling method ;) as she lies on the bed]
Cameron: He also said "they took my stain"?
House: Hold on. [he puts the phone against his chest, Stacy sits up on the bed] Uhh... I'm going to take this phone downstairs, so I don't disturb you. Is that ok? [he takes his cane from her]
Stacy: Sure.
House: [into the phone] Keep him talking. Write down everything he says. [as he opens the door of the room, he looks back at her] Stacy, that new make-up you bought, do you mind if I borrow it?
[Cut to House sitting on the floor of the airport under announcement screens. The opposite wall made of plasterboard has been written over in make-up with the two sentences Fletcher mentioned. He's also written out what else Fletcher could have meant when he said those words. House is staring at the words he wrote while bouncing the pink ball he stole from the kid earlier on. His coat is off, he's still dressed in black shirt, jeans and sneakers. It's almost 3.30AM according to the clock]
[Stacy walks up to him, she's got her coat off too. She’s brought the phone charger down with her]
House: Crimson desire shows up well on sheet rock.
Stacy: That's why I chose it.
[They smile at each other, she hands him the charger and they continue to stare at the words he wrote on the wall]
[Cut back to the airport, the flights are no longer delayed. House pops a vicodin as he continues staring at the wall]
Stacy: Your flight's been boarding for 20 minutes!
House: I'll take a later one.
Stacy: Greg they can't leave without you, you checked your knapsack.
[Back at the airport, Stacy is boarding her flight, House tags along beside her in the queue]
House: I'm counting on you to get me off the no-fly list.
Stacy: Is your patient going to be alright?
House: Physically, his chances are good.
Stacy: Physically?
House: Two people who weren't meant to be together. Maybe they’ll get a happy ending just because they both want it so much.
Stacy: Yeah, that's usually the way it works.
House: He loved her enough to convince himself he could change.
Stacy: But he couldn't, could he? [She gets the stub of her ticket back from the person at the desk and is about to walk through when she turns around to see House again] You know what Woody Allen said about relationships? "Irrational and crazy, but we go through it all because--
House: --we need the curry".
[He nods and they exchange a last look before she leaves for her flight]
2.11 - NEED TO KNOW (désirs illusoires)
Original Airdate on FOX: February 07, 2006
Written by Pamela Davis. Directed by David Semel.
[cut to Stacy's office, door opens, House sticks his head in]
House: Working late? Or you just avoiding Mark?
Stacy:It was one kiss, Greg.
House: So far. [comes in] I'm planning on keeping a chart.
Stacy: I'm moving back to Short Hills, I think it's time.
House: You're leaving?
Stacy: It's never meant to be permanent. And now that Mark's getting better...
House: Yeah. Much better. Except for the whole walking thing.
Stacy: He needs to get back to work. [turns away]
House: Right. Saving the next generation from making bad choices about acne cream. You're running away because the kiss meant something.
Stacy: I'm not running away. I'm going home.
House: With Mark.
Stacy: I love Mark.
House [comes around desk]: You love me more. [they stare at each other] I don't want you to leave.
[cut to House's bedroom, phone rings, he turns on the light. The camera pans and we see he's shirtless in bed as he answers it.]
House: This better be important.
Cameron: You've gotta come back in.
House: No I don't.
Cameron: Margo's stable, but--
House: Oh, my God. Well, I'll be right there.
Cameron: She had a stroke.
House [squints eyes]: Perfect. [hangs up, sighs] Gotta go back to work. [camera pans as he turns around and we see Stacy in his bed.]
Stacy: Right now?
House [turns over, smiles at her. We see Stacy is topless too]: Well, patient's stable. [raises eyebrows] Could maybe wait a half hour. [she smiles, he puts his arm around her, kisses her, they go back to sexing]
[cut to roof, sunrise]
Stacy[opens door holding piece of paper, House smiles at her]: The prescription for my heart condition. A bit on the cheesy side.
House: I was trying for romantic. [they smile at each other and hug] Still fits.
Stacy [smiling]: Mmm.
House: Did you tell Mark?
Stacy [her smile fades]: I told him I had to work late.
House [his smile fades, he pulls back]: You going to tell him?
Stacy: How am I going to tell him? Still working on that phrasing. How about, 'Know all that stuff you were worried about when we first came here, honey? you were right.'
House: Pithy.
Stacy: Everything's easy when you don't care if you hurt anyone.
House: You already did the hurting part. He just doesn't know it yet.
Stacy: If I never tell him, it'll never hurt. [House's brow furrows.] I want not to love Mark. I want to hate you. I want all of this to be simple, but it's not.
House [nods, looks around, then back at her]: You can either have a life with me, or you can have a life with him. It can't be both. It's not easy. But it is simple. [she nods]
[cut to Stacy's office, House enters]
Stacy: Hey!
House: Hi.
Stacy [stands up]: I'm going to talk to Mark tonight. And I'm going to stay here with you. [smiles and looks nervous]
House: Don't do it.
Stacy: This isn't funny Greg.
House: I know.
Stacy [smile fades]: You... spent all these months chasing me. Now I'm here and you start running? What the hell changed?
House: Nothing. Nothing changes. I'm not going to change.
Stacy: Who asked you to?
House: Mark is willing to do whatever it takes. I'm not. Never was.
Stacy: Oh, now you're introspective? Weren't so analytical the other night.
House: You were happy with Mark. You'll be happy again.
Stacy: Shut up about Mark. What the hell's wrong with you?
House: I can't make you happy!
Stacy: What?
House: How do you think this is gonna end? We'll be happy for what? A few weeks, few months. And then I'll say something insensitive, or I'll start ignoring you. And at first it'll be okay. It's just House being House. And then at some point, you will need something more. You'll need someone who can give you something I can't. [Stacy sighs.] You know I"m right. I've been there before.
Stacy: Oh. Oh. It doesn't have to be.
House: It does. It does. [they sigh] I dont' want to go there again. I'm sorry, Stacy. [He leaves, and she exhales forcefully]
[retour] [accueil]
House
The Night Watchman
Band from TV
Sela Ward
