REPLIQUES: SAISON 1 - [saison 2]

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1.21 - Three stories (Cours Magistral)

Original Airdate on FOX: May 17, 2005
Written by David Shore. Directed by Paris Barclay

A voice: Greg. [House turns at the clinic doors to see… the infamous Stacy, waiting with a bunch of papers and x-ray films. She walks up to him; House looks… well, it’s hard to describe. Run over by a bus sounds good.]
House: Hi, Stacy.
Stacy: How’re you doing?
House: How am I doing? Well, the last five years have been like… you ever see those “Girls Gone Wild” videos?
Stacy:Your life’s been like that, or your life’s been spent watching them? [They both kind of smile.] I have missed you.
House: Is that why you’re here? [Stacy shakes her head.]
Stacy: I need your help. [She hands him the films; he limps over to the clinic desk to take a look.]
House: Who am I looking at?
Stacy: My husband.
House: Who is suffering abdominal pain and fainting spells. No sign of tumors, no vasculitis. Could be indigestion, or maybe a kidney stone. A little one, can pack a lot of wallop.
Stacy: Did you think I wasn’t going to get married?
House: Not to someone so poorly endowed. This guy’s pancreas is pathetic. [He walks off, Stacy follows.]
Stacy: There is no kidney stone, no indigestion. Three hospitals, five doctors, not one of them found anything.
House: Well, maybe there’s nothing to be found.
Stacy: Right, you suddenly trust doctors, love puppies and long walks in the rain.
House: The walks are out. [Stacy grabs his arm.]
Stacy: I was around you long enough to know when something’s not right. Mark’s had personality changes, he’s acting strange, disconnected…
House: Interesting. It means there’s either a neurological component or he’s having an affair.
Stacy: No affair, no nothing! He’s sick! I know you’re not too busy; you avoid work like the plague. Unless it actually is the plague. I’m asking you a favor.
House: I’m not too busy, but I’m not sure I want him to live. It’s good seeing you again. [He leaves, and Stacy is holding back tears.]



[Cut to Cuddy, House and Stacy.]
Cuddy: Amazing advances have been made. Kids with prosthetic legs are running the 100-meter dash in twelve seconds.
House: Yeah, they’re just not as pretty. Do a bypass, restore the circulation.
Cuddy: Amputation is safer.
House: For you, or me?
Cuddy: The blockage of blood flow –
House: Four-day blockage.
Cuddy: Yes. It caused muscle cell death. When those cells die, they release cytokines and potassium --
House: If you restore the blood flow instead of just lopping it all off, then all that crap gets washed back into my system. The cytokines could cause organ failure, the potassium could cause cardiac arrest. On the other hand, I may just get the use of my leg back.
Cuddy: The post-operative pain alone –
House: I’ll get through it. I understand the risks, you’re in the clear. Go schedule an OR. [Cuddy leaves.]
Stacy: God, you’re an idiot.
House: I think I’m more of a jerk.
Stacy: I’m not being glib. And I’m not being cute, I don’t want you to kill yourself.
House: I’m not gonna die.
Stacy: Oh, I feel completely reassured.
[Cut to the volleyball player and her family, who are waiting (praying?).]
[Cut to House, who is writing “Not this leg” on his left leg. Stacy helps him to write “Not this leg either” on his right.]



[Cut to House, in surgery. CGI shot as they remove the clot from his leg.]
[Cut to House and Stacy in a hospital room. House is yelling in pain.]
House: I think they gotta up that morphine.
Stacy: The doctors say they can’t.
House: The doctors recommended bed rest and antibiotics.
Stacy: They screwed up, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong this time.
House: Sure doesn’t mean they’re right.
Stacy: Morphine will kill you.
House: I can handle it.
Stacy: You’re in pain, you’re not thinking right.
House: That’s why I need the damn morphine!
Stacy: Okay, I’ll talk to them. [She leaves.]
[Cut to Stacy talking to Cuddy.]
Stacy: Oh my God, how much longer is the pain going to last?
Cuddy: It depends on how much muscle cell death there was. He could be right, he could come out of this with almost full use of his leg.
Stacy: Or?
Cuddy: He could be in pain for the rest of his life. There’s a third option, surgically. A middle ground between what we did and amputation.
Stacy: He’s not big on middle ground.
Cuddy: Yeah.



[Cut to House and Stacy.]
Stacy: How bad is the pain right now?
House: It’s bad.
Stacy: It’s not getting any better. If you were right, the pain would be subsiding. You’d be getting better.
House: It’s just taking longer.
Stacy: No, it’s not. We’ve got to let him cut the leg off.
House: It’s my leg. It’s my life.
Stacy: Would you give up your leg to save my life?
House: Of course I would.
Stacy: Then why do you think your life is worth less than mine? If this were any other patient, what would you tell them to do?
House: I would say it’s their choice.
Stacy: Wha – not a chance! You’d browbeat them until they made the choice you knew was right. You’d shove it in their face that it’s just a damn leg! You don’t think you deserve to live? You don’t think you deserve to be happy? Not let them cut off your leg? [They’re both near tears.]
House: I can’t, I can’t, I’m sorry.
Stacy: The pain alone is going to kill you.
House: I know, I know. I need you to talk to the doctor.
[Cut to Stacy, sitting in a waiting area. Cuddy walks up and sits with her.]
Cuddy: He change his mind?
Stacy: No. He’s asked to be put in a chemically induced coma so he can sleep through the worst part of the pain.
Cuddy: We can do that.
Stacy: What happens after he’s in the coma?
Cuddy: We’ll obviously monitor his condition closely, and if he can get through the next forty-eight hours without another cardiac incident –
Stacy: I meant, I’m his health-care proxy, I get to make medical decisions for him if he’s not able to.
Cuddy: You should talk to him about what he wants to do.
Stacy: I know what he wants, but if he’s out it’s my call, right? [Cuddy nods.]
[Cut to House’s room. Cuddy’s inducing the coma.]
Cuddy: You’ll be out in less than a minute.
House: Thank you. [to Stacy] Hey.
Stacy: Hey.
House: I’ll see you when I wake up. We’ll go golfing. I love you.
Stacy: I love you, too. I’m sorry.
House: [going under] You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. [Stacy gets up and walks over to Cuddy.]
Stacy: The middle ground you were talking about?
Cuddy: We go in, take out the dead muscle. There’s still some risk of reperfusion injury, but –
Stacy: Give me the forms you need signed.
Cuddy: You’re saving his life.
Stacy: He won’t see it that way.

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1.22 - The Honeymoon (le choix de l'autre)

Original Airdate on FOX: May 24, 2005
Written by Lawrence Kaplow & John Mankiewicz. Directed by Fred Keller

[Opens in a nice restaurant. House is trying to balance his fork and spoon on the rim of his beer glass – quite a feat! Stacy drops down in the opposite seat (it’s a table for four) and the silverware falls off the glass.]
House: I gotta go.
Stacy: No, no, he’ll be here. I’m sure he’s just running a little late.
House: He’s cancelled two exams, he’s not gonna –
Stacy: He’s scared of you.
House: Sure. The ex-boy-toy. Eh, that makes sense.
Stacy:He wasn’t scared before.
House: Right, you think being afraid of me is a symptom of a serious ailment.
Stacy: Sudden mood swings, infantile regression, abdominal pain, he’s passed out twice, yeah! I think it might be a medical problem.
House: He’s twenty minutes late. I’m outta here.
Stacy: Please. [She puts her hand on his.] He’ll be here.
House: Why? Because he loves you and does everything he’s told?
Stacy: Because I didn’t tell him you’d be here. [She gives him a “Ha!” kind of look. House fixes the necklace Stacy’s wearing – a silver crucifix.]
House: He likes to see.
Stacy: Yes, he does. [And the husband walks up.]
Mark: Stace? What’s going on?
Stacy: Hey – [about to make introductions, but --]
House: Hi. I’m Greg House. You must be Matt.
Stacy: Mark. [Mark extends a hand.]
Mark: Mark Warner. [They shake.] Don’t get up. [He sits, whispered to Stacy as he kisses her on the cheek] Sorry, pair of conferences.
Stacy: It’s okay.
Mark: Hi. Wow. Greg House.
House: Yeah. Wow.
Mark: No, I haven’t been avoiding you, I just didn’t want to waste your time. The other doctors checked me out and they said it was just stress. College season, kids, parents, they’re all over me.
House: Makes sense to me.
Stacy: Greg –
House: What do you want me to do?
Stacy: You said you’d check him out!
House: He says he’s healthy. What’s to check out?
Mark: Sorry for the mix-up, but I’m glad you two got a chance to catch up. Looks like you’re having fun. House: Oh, he’s good. If you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything. I can’t tell you how much I like your fella.
Mark: Yeah, me too. You know, I thought you’d be all sarcastic, bitter, you know, because Stacy married me. [He puts an arm around Stacy to emphasize the fact.]
House: You know, we should do things together. Maybe throw a ball around or something. Guy stuff.
Mark: We could go for a run together.
House: Hah! He’s Oscar Wilde!
Stacy: Wow, this pissing contest is really turning me on. He needs to go to the hospital.
House: [raising his glass] Here’s to women. You can’t live with ‘em, you can’t kill ‘em until the neighbors are stripping in Atlantic City.
Mark: [raising his own glass] Damn straight. [They start to drink… and House finishes his glass first.]
House: I’m definitely taller.
Mark: I have more hair. And I think that… oh…
Stacy: Mark? [House gets up and guides Mark’s head to the table as he passes out.]
Paramedic: [entering the restaurant with a gurney] Someone call 911 for a wagon to Princeton-Plainsboro?
House: Garçon! [Translation corner: Garçon means “boy” in French, and is a not-too-nice way to address a waiter.] [He snaps his fingers to get their attention.] It’s okay, ladies and gentlemen, nothing to worry about. Unless you had the veal.
Stacy: You dosed him!
House: I told you, I’d check him out. I was a little worried they were gonna get here before he’d passed out. Would have been tougher to get him to drink. I’ll give you a ride. We can talk. [Stacy gives him a dirty look and walks out with the paramedics.]



[Cut to Stacy, sitting on a couch in the waiting room, talking into a handheld tape player.]
Stacy: Leslie vs. Leslie seems to be right in point, but I’m sure they’re going to try to distinguish it by – [she pauses as something is said over the overhead speaker] – sorry, they’ll try to distinguish it by relying on the minority opinion. [A paper coffee cup is thrust under her nose, held by one Dr. House.]
House: Double milk, no sugar.
Stacy: I like sugar now. [House sits next to Stacy. They both look bored and somewhat anxious. House keeps tapping his cane on the floor.] Some people would be annoyed by that. [House taps on the floor a few more times.]
House: You know why people sit in waiting rooms?
Stacy: This is gonna be good.
House: People think the closer they’re sitting to the operating room, the more they care.
Stacy: That’s why I’m here. I’m not moving until everybody sees me.
House: Are you doing anybody besides Mark? [She looks at him.] It’s a medical question.
Stacy: Because if I am his paranoia isn’t paranoia, it’s a justified response? Therefore, not a legitimate symptom?
House: Knew you’d understand.
Stacy: On the other hand, if it was really just a medical question you would have sent one of your people. Why just push my buttons when you can push theirs, too? ‘Hey, Dr. Mandingo, ask the wife if she’s been messing around.’ You were asking because, if I am unfaithful, I might sleep with you. The answer’s ‘no, I don’t sleep around’. Make sure you note that in his file. [Foreman enters the scene.]



[Cut to the roof of the hospital. House is standing up there, staring into the night. Stacy appears in the doorway.]
House: Here we go. [Stacy shoves him.]
Stacy: He’s sick, paranoid, and you keep hammering him about me?
House: The questions were designed to define the operational parameters of his limbic system –
Stacy: Elevate the words all you want, you were just screwing with him. Low even by your standards.
House: Medical screwing. It’s what I do.
Stacy: And then you run away like a 12-year-old. Go hide on the roof like you always do.
House: I haven’t been up here in five years. [a lengthy, awkward pause] I don’t know what’s wrong with him. It’s not Alzheimer’s, it’s not encephalitis, it’s not environmental, it’s not immunological. Every test is negative, every time. He’s perfectly healthy, but his brain is dying.
Stacy: It never occurred to me that you couldn’t figure out what’s wrong. [Stacy starts to cry, and House walks over to hug her.]
House: I haven’t given up.
Stacy: So what do we do?
House: We wait.
Stacy: For what?
House: Something to change. It’s one of the great tragedies of life, something always [they break apart], something always changes.



[Cut to House and Stacy walking out of the room.]
Stacy: You couldn’t just walk into the room?
House: He’s had five visitors drive down. I didn’t recognize any of them. Six more have sent him flowers, candy and a teddy bear, which I’m sure he finds very comforting. But I didn’t recognize any of the names on the cards.
Stacy: Shockingly, Mark has friends, and I have some new ones.
House: No, it’s not shocking that you have new friends. But it is shocking that you apparently dumped all your old ones.
Stacy: I haven’t.
House: No, I didn’t think so. I just think you didn’t tell any of them that you were down here. Now why would that be? [A doctor comes to use the telephone at the desk; they move to another spot.] Why would you not tell your oldest friends that you were taking Mark to Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital to try to save his life?
Stacy: I’ve been busy! I haven’t kept track of who knows what.
House: See, my old friends are telling me to be careful. They seem to think –
Stacy: He. And he sent me the bear.
House: Figures. He seems to think that I’m not over you. It might be dangerous for me to spend time with you. I’m thinking your friends might have similar concerns. And so you didn’t tell him you’d be here, with me.
Stacy: What’s your point? That I’m still in love with you? I should abandon my dying husband and we should head for Rio?
House: No.
Stacy: Greg, I appreciate what you’re doing for us, but maybe Wilson’s right. Maybe you should just stay away from me. [She walks off.]



[Cut to House entering Mark’s room.]
House: Hey. Is it okay if I talk to Stacy for a minute?
Stacy: I’ll be just outside, honey.
[Cut to the two of them walking down a hallway.]
House: You two are good together.
Stacy: You know nothing about Mark.
House: He took you to Paris, that’s good enough for me.
Stacy: We never went to Paris.
House: Your honeymoon. It’s been your dream city, you wanted to go since you were sixteen, he actually took you.
Stacy: No, I had to work. We spent the night in New York, then went back to Short Hills. What is it?
House: When did Mark switch from mountain biking to yoga?
Stacy: About a month ago. The same time he started getting sick, what does that mean?
House: We have two more symptoms.



[Cut to the team talking to Stacy in Mark’s room.]
House: Acute Intermittent Porphyria has very specific triggers. Barbiturates, alcohol, high levels of protein set off an attack.
Stacy: Which trigger do you think set off Mark’s?
House: Not the faintest idea, that’s why I’m going to give him the combo plate.
Stacy: So if he has this, and you trigger the attack, the attack makes him worse. Right?
House: Yeah. But then we’ll know what it is and we can treat it.
Mark: What if I don’t have this thing and you give me that shot? What happens?
House: No idea. If we don’t know what’s messing up your brain we don’t know how you’ll react.
Stacy: Okay, I need a minute with my husband. [The team leaves. Mark is shown talking through the glass, then Stacy gets up and leaves.] He doesn’t want the trigger. He wants to wait, see if we can come up with another explanation. If it is the AIP, how much time does he have?
House: No idea. Next attack could be fatal. Could be six months from now, could be five minutes from now.
Stacy: I want you to test him.
House: Fine. I’ll send for a HMB synthetase mutation, genetic test. Lab will get back to us in a month.
Stacy: Give him the cocktail, set off an attack.
House: No.
Stacy: Why not?
House: Because he doesn’t want me to.
Stacy: I’m not going to sue you. I’m not going to report you.
House: He might.
Stacy: He’s paralyzed! Either you cure him, or he won’t be writing any letters.
House: I’m not gonna do it.
Stacy: Why not?
House: You keep asking me that question; my answer doesn’t change. I gave him the parameters, it’s his call.
Stacy: You want him to die.
House: I diagnosed him, I did my job. You want somebody to tie him down and force him into treatment, well, you’re way better at that than I am.
Stacy: Is that what this is? Payback for your leg? How many times have we been over this; I saved your life.
House: Yeah, maybe.
Stacy: You’re going to kill my husband to teach me a lesson?
House: No, he’s going to die because he’s too stubborn to make the right choice.
Stacy: Now we’re in your territory.
House: I’m respecting your husband’s decision, I don’t see why you’ve got a problem with that.
Stacy: Because it’s crap! Because you browbeat patients, intimidate them, lie to them. If you think you’re right you don’t give a damn what they think. I did what you do all the time, the only difference is I did it to you.
House: He’ll never forgive you.
Stacy: Yeah, he will.




[Cut to the doctors with Mark.]
Foreman: Still no change.
Stacy: He’s not getting worse?
Foreman: No, no change at all.
Stacy: And that’s consistent with AIP, right? Until he has another attack his condition’s stable?
Cameron: Yeah.
Stacy: Mark, you’ve got to –
Mark: I don’t want to take that test. Not until they’re sure.
Stacy: You don’t know Gregg.
Mark: Not like you do. I only met him when he drugged me.
House: [at the doorway] Boy, are my ears burning.
Mark: What’s that?
House: [holding up a syringe] Cocktail hour. Just because you can’t hoist a few doesn’t mean you should be left out.
Mark: Get away from me.
Stacy: Mark, this is what he thinks is wrong with you.
Mark: You trust his judgment more than mine?
Stacy: His medical judgment.
Mark: And you’d bet my life on that.
Stacy: I would.
Mark: I don’t.
House: Smart. Too bad you’re paralyzed. [He takes the IV to push the syringe, but Foreman stops him.] Bing! Paging Dr. Foreman! Leave the room. It’s not your problem.
Foreman: You need the consent from him.
House: Doc, he ain’t right in the head!
Cameron: Then you need a court order.
House: Okay, then get one. We’ll wait here. I won’t do nothin’. [The three Ducklings have moved so they’re forming a wall between House and Mark’s bed.] Oh, love the Musketeer thing. I got goosebumps.
Cameron: [holding out her hand] Give me the syringe.]
Stacy: [near tears] Please, if you’re right this may be his only shot.
House: So what’s your plan? You take the big, dark one, I’ve got the little girl and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things turn rough. I can’t do it. [He turns away, everyone relaxes, and then BOOM! House sticks the syringe in Mark’s leg.]
Mark: You son of a bitch!
House: See what I did there?
Stacy: When does it happen?
Chase: [checking Mark’s vitals] If he had AIP, it should have already happened.
House: Everyone’s different.
Foreman: This is not good. He could have embolism, tachycardia, stroke – [Foreman is interrupted by Mark, who goes into an attack.]
Stacy: What’s happening?
Chase: Two milligrams of Ativan!
Stacy: Is that an attack? [Cameron runs over with the Ativan, but House swipes it away with his cane.]
House: No, you’ll pollute the sample! Chase, get urine from the catheter.
Foreman: It’s not an attack, he’s stroking!
Chase:He needs Ativan!
House: This is not a stroke! Delta wave bursts just at the base of the spasm. [The catheter falls to the floor.]
Chase: Catheter’s out, there’s no way to collect the sample
Foreman: Heart rate’s in the 40s, bradycardia, we’re losing him!
House: Hold him down!
Stacy: Give him something!
House: No pain killers!
Foreman: You were wrong! [House doesn’t listen, but grabs a syringe and sticks the needle into Mark’s bladder, pulling out the urine sample.]
House: Straight from the bladder, that’s as fresh as it gets. Will you give him the Ativan already? He doesn’t need to be awake for this.



[Cut to House’s office. He opens the blinds to look at the rain. Stacy enters.]
Stacy: You fixed him.
House: De nada.
Stacy: Thank you. You were right.
House: He’s gonna be fine.
Stacy: No, about me. I’m not over you. You were, you were the one, you always will be. But I can’t be with you.
House: So I’m the guy, but you want the other guy, who by definition can never be the guy.
Stacy: What’s so great about you, you always think you’re right. What’s so frustrating about you is you are right so much of the time. You are brilliant, funny, surprising, sexy… but with you I was lonely, and with Mark there’s room for me.
House: Okay. [Stacy kisses him on the cheek, then leaves.]

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